Swing'n On A Star and All That Jazz

Cockiness (noun) 1. offensive boldness and assertiveness. This is one of my most disdained traits in a person, besides prevarication (rudeness is also a problem). If a person is as good as he or she claims, why boast?  If one is truly THAT GOOD, then "shut the fuck up," and let your actions prove your worth. Sadly, win or lose, the loser is 'the cock,' or the cocky person for lack of self- confidence, and the obnoxious and blatant cover-up of their insecurities.   

I am alone now, mostly. Yes, I have been married for nearly 34 years, so I am not alone, mostly. Yes, I am 67 years old and my mother grew me in her womb and birthed me, and she also birthed my brother and sister, so I wasn’t alone , mostly. I had no children, but have adored all of my dogs, mostly. I went to many differently elementary schools, and made friends when I could, mostly. I also went to two different middle schools and high schools, and made friends when I could, mostly. I went to college too, nightly.   Students flocked to me, mostly.     I guess I knew the answers and didn’t pass judgment, mostly. I started working when I was 17 and have had many different jobs, lasting many different lengths of time, and made many different friends, mostly. I guess I’m flawed, or perhaps extremely particular, because I’ve kept no friends, mostly. I think I want friends, mostly.

About a month ago, we found a multi-colored tunnel – the kind small children use to scramble through, or perhaps something used on a small dog agility course, laying in our easement just beyond our backyard fence.   A curious sight, we wondered if it was something the wind carried over the fence from our new backyard neighbors.   We left it there, thinking the neighbors would notice it missing and retrieve it.   The wind continued to move it here and there, but our fence and the neighbors fences contained it to the easement area, in fact, some of the tall, dried grass captured the tunnel and kept it still for a couple of weeks.   Every day, I looked out of the window to see if it was still there, and then it was gone.   I thought that the owners finally discovered it missing and retrieved it.   Unfortunately for the wayward tunnel that wasn’t the case.   Our strong winds finally released it from the tall grass and lifted it to the gulley between the ...

Ring…ring...... “You’ve reached THE WHITE HOUSE.   We’re sorry, we can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a….you know what, we are NOT sorry, we actually don’t give a rat’s ass about you and your FAKE accusations about the POTUS – he was the boss of The Celebrity Apprentice don’t you know, and a good business man, even though he has filed for bankruptcy several times and claims he is still a billionaire.    Leave a message if you wish, but know that it will fall on deaf ears.   We don’t give a crap about the American people just as long as we get our name in the media."   Beep.

To use the argument that Republican’s are conservative and Democrats are liberal is laughable.  Do some research and you will discover that those claiming to be ‘true republicans,’ and those claiming to be ‘true Democrats,’ for lack of a better description, are full of crap,  have never researched anything about their so called ‘political party,’ follow celebrity, or someone else’s lead, or don’t know their ass from a hole in the ground.  Don’t be so goddamned self-centered that all you can think about is your life and “take the easy way out,” by voting as your family members or celebrities do, or worst of all, not voting ( those note voting have no right to complain and quite frankly are a big part of the problem in our political voting system). Something else to consider as my friend, Diane, a history professor suggested, “A person might be fiscally conservative but socially liberal.   So, now what label do you use?   Are you a Republican?   Democ...

I was 14 years old when I was assaulted-molested, by a man old enough to be a grandfather.   While the rest of my family shopped, I was ‘holding down the fort’ in the apartment complex we managed.   A tenant, a nice white-haired man who lived alone and had frequent visitors to his apartment, young boys and girls alike, (he had really cool war memorabilia and stories that fascinated us all) walked into the office that day.   Rent wasn’t due, but the office needed to be open just in case someone needed to report a maintenance problem or something like that.   As I recall now, he asked “where is everyone?”   “Shopping, I replied.”   I now remember him asking, “So, you are alone?” After another few minutes of idle chit-chat, he slowly made his way from in front of the desk toward where I sat, behind it.   I didn’t then, but can clearly recall him looking over his shoulder.   The office was quite spacious and had two large windows in front and a sc...

My aunt Lynda, may she rest in peace, always had a way with words, not necessarily eloquent but more ghetto I suppose.  Even though, to this day I still use some of those 'family phrases.'  One of those phrases was, "weird little stroker."  I use this to describe my dog, Rusty.  Since the day my husband, Frank brought him home from his then foster home, he's has a dog toy in his mouth.  He doesn't play with them or squeak the squeaker inside of them, but brings them to you as some kind of offering, but never relinquishes the toy.  As if he is saying, "see, I slaughtered this thing and therefore am a providing member of the pack."  He brings these gifts to us everywhere, even as we sit on the toilet, peeing.  I suppose he wants us to enjoy his company as well as the toy, and that's a good thing.  Company to pee by. Weird little stroker. Rusty also loves shredding tissues, whenever he gets the chance.  Frank has allergies and uses a lot ...

To say I like dogs more than people is an understatement.  All of the dogs I've had have always provided endless enjoyment for me.  My first dog, Sparky, a miniature Dachshund was super smart and sensitive.  He loved his squeaky ball and digging.  Squeaking the squeaky ball, though annoying, was okay, but digging was a no-no.  Occasionally, when I was tilling my vegetable garden, I would throw his squeaky ball into the dirt and let Sparky 'have at it.'  He was in his glory, emerging from the garden bed with the squeaky ball in his mouth and a snout full of dirt and practically grinning from floppy ear to floppy ear.  Of course the down side for him was, all that dirt meant a bath and he was never fond of baths.  He was fearful for a week when we brought home his little sister Tootsie, but soon warmed up to her, cuddling and grooming her with his tongue on many occasions.  And even though, she became Alpha dog and busted his chops a lot, he wa...

In today’s political climate, it’s not a matter of left or right, it’s a matter of right and wrong…truth and lies.   There is no middle ground – none whatsoever.   You’re either with me or a’gin me and how sad to feel that way.   Most of us are too lazy to sift out and research our so-called leaders before we vote for them.   And how sad that even in our local mayoral elections we chose to vote for a candidate not based on their beliefs and accomplishments, but their political affiliation.   That’s the unfortunate situation Americans deal with now.   Political divide.   Religious divide.   Racial divide.    And apathy.    Our current administration is dividing our families and our friends.   We find ourselves questioning our sanity – our sensibilities – our reasoning.   The stress is unbelievable.    Upon meeting someone new, we find ourselves wanting to ask, “What is your political party and for whom did ...

Hate is an emotionally powerful word.   I hate the word hate, and I hate that I hate it, but lately I find myself hating a lot…..mostly people and their irrational hatred of others who are not the norm (for whatever religious or other reasons perceived), however misquoted from scriptures or wherever those misconceptions may come.   Embrace difference.   Hate…… hate.   Embrace diversity.   Accepting diversity makes us whole....makes use better….makes us humane.   PS….DOGS ROCKS and so do other animals, i.e. kitty cats and hamsters.

One of the worst things about being 66 years old and suffering with the skin condition Vitiligo is   EVERY flaw shows – scratches, age spots, rashes, red spots, acne, wrinkles, nooks and crannies and bruises among other things.   The best thing – I’m a walking abstract art canvas.   Picture not included.   Feel free to use your imagination.

Sometimes – in these days and times, it’s hard to stay upbeat and positive when hatred and injustice literally spews from that seemingly pristine looking resident in Washington, DC   and its inhabitants – in particular, ‘the one supposedly in charge of our country.’    I am profoundly sad at those people still supporting the evil and inhumanity of THAT person who seems to think he is, ‘God,’ and can do no wrong.  

Noun:  independence 1.        Freedom from control or influence of another or others (think for yourself) 2.        The successful ending of the American Revolution 3.        The state of being able to support oneself without help from others (understand your own influence and do not cater to other’s ideologies) Noun:   freedom 1.        The condition of being free; the power to act, speak or think without externally imposed restraints (think 1 st amendment but be wary of outside, i.e. religious or political influences or labels)   think for yourself (I’m sensing a theme here) 2.        Immunity from an obligation or duty Noun: tyranny 1.        A form of government in which the ruler is an absolute dictator (not restricted by constitution, laws or opposition etc)   (I fo...

It doesn’t make any difference what bathroom you want to use.   A pervert is a pervert no matter with what gender he, she or they, identify.   And might I say that, in all my 60 plus years when using a ladies restroom that not once was I ever accosted by a lesbian who wanted to assault me, or convert me.   Nor do I know of any male friends who were ever accosted by a gay man in the men’s restroom. There’s   far too many homophobes, lesbophobes and transgenderphobes milling around public bathrooms for my taste.   When I go into a public bathroom, I do my business, wash my hands and leave.   Hanging around is more than icky, not to mention the smelly.

As a child, I was taught never to call someone ‘stupid.’ And, I always tried restraining myself, until now.  I figured after nearly 67 years of reading and listening to bullshit, I’m entitled to ‘call people out’ on their insane comments on Face Book or wherever.   So, I’m on FB and I see a picture of one of the dancer’s from Dancing with the Stars, something I LIKED on FB and I enjoy watching on TV.  It is an innocuous photo of one of the pro dancers and ‘the star’ hiding behind him, teasing people to guess who the star is.  That’s all.  I click LIKE, because I think it’s cute.  Clicking LIKE shows the comments, and the first comment I see is hate-filled and derogatory.  Seriously?  Firstly, if you aren’t into the show anymore then why do you still have the app or the like on your FB?  And why are bothering to make such a hateful comment?  Is this person trying to sway fans to the other direction?  In which case, if a person...

It just seems to me that God has a lot of shit on his table.  I mean, from what I understand and what little of The Bible I’ve read, that he is omnipotent…meaning he knows everyone’s shit.  That is approximately as of today, 7.6 billion people.  That is a lot of fucking stuff to remember.  Keep in mind that I am not in any way trying to be offensive.  The word ‘fuck’ is in actuality a perfect word….a noun…a verb…an adjective that represents, in today’s society, especially political, so much more and then some.  So, I’m exploring the saying, adage or whatever, “when one door closes, God opens another door.”  Seriously?  He has that much time on his hands, what, with parting seas, turning some liquids into other liquids and smiting those that cause harm…I prefer the words from Reverend Scott in ‘The Poseidon Adventure,’ ”God helps those who help themselves.”  At some point in time, we need to ‘get our shit together.’    I realize that...

I am not up-to-date.  I don't give a shit about 'latest inventions or an upgrade of a cell phone or what the fuck ever.'  I don't have many friends, nor do I want to have many friends.  I have a Tracphone....a cell phone I basically use for emergencies.  I feel no need to constantly text friends.  I'm convinced that if we continue this "texting" phase we as a human race will lose the ability to speak in coherent, full sentences.  Then again, I'm truly not interested in anyone that cannot form a complete sentence.  Anyone for thetherball?

Noun: harassment hu’ras-munt or her –us-ment The feeling of intense annoyance caused by being tormented “So great was his harassment that he wanted to destroy his tormentors”                  The act of tormenting by continued persistent attacks and criticism Kind of makes you wonder if a person could successfully sue the person doing the harassing, say like the POTUS which is clearly misspelled.   It’s POS, dummy.   Just something I was thinking.   Feel free to disassociate yourself from me if you actually feel my assessment is eschewed from those who have not lost their minds or who haven’t been blinded by celebrity, albeit self-aggrandizing.    And just in case you think my opinion is FOS, why not take the time to actually do some research.   I did, and I know a POS aka (a bullshiter) when I see one.   Mind you, I’m not aggrandizing my IQ, just being practical. ...

While watching TV today, a commercial for an upcoming viewing appeared on the screen ------The Big Chill.  I immediately reminisced about how and when I saw the movie.  It was years ago.  Back when there was no Internet and if you wanted a date other than the usual bar or nightclub hookup you subscribed to The Singles Register......a publication where you could post a profile and receive censored responses, usually requesting further correspondence, i.e. telephone call.  I recall calling a respondent and 'hooking up' with him for a cocktail date in Newport Beach.  I can't remember his name, but he was polite and pleasant looking, in a nerdy, bespectacled kind of way.  We had a drink in a darkened jazz club somewhere along the boardwalk, then ended our night with a walk and a kiss to which he said, "not bad, but there's room for improvement."  I'm not sure if he was referring to me or him, because I'd never had any complaints about my kissing techniques...

Conceited people and those overly so have always bothered me.  The sad fact is that these people spend so much time boasting and giving themselves high-fives that they don't realize how pathetically insecure they really are.  If you are truly good at something or smarter or prettier, you don't have to convince me or anyone else for that matter.  I steer clear of these people because sadly even if they are chopped down to size, they always believe the failure as not their fault.  To me this just takes too much work.  Who gives a shit?  I don't.