Swing'n On A Star and All That Jazz

The driver drove East of Eden and West of the Mississippi - North to Alaska and South of the border. Round and Round in a semi-circle of confusion, spinning the wheels of his teal colored Cadillac: or is it mint green? Light tourquoise? Colors can be so visual, especially if one is color blind . As a reader, imagine in your mind what color you want the Cadillac to be. Exciting, isn't it? Still spinning in a continous spin, the driver's mind moves left and then right. To the left he's a man. To the right he's a woman, and I realize as I write this the driver might just be a transgender or a drag queen. I chose drag queen. Drag queens are so much more fun and I'm guessing gay, but that's neither here nor there. I don't give a flying fu_ _ . Speaking of which, what exactly is a flying fu_ _? I consider myself well-versed and uninhibited in the art of having sex but never have I flown while doing so. Does flying fu_ _ have something to do with the 'mile high...

Watching a show about Cleopatra. Didn't realize that she killed her siblings to gain power. I can't imagine killing either my brother or sister to gain anything, but then again there has never been any inter-blood marriages in my family as far as I know. While I like my brother, sisters and cousins, I can't imagine doing the horizontal mambo with any of them to preserve the bloods. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww gross!!!

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff...not clever stuff like I've previously posted, but stuff. I turned 60 this past October and while I don't think 60 is anywhere near the end of one's life, it's a fact that things start deteriorating as we 'get on in years.' So, I've decided to blog about stuff that comes to mind. I remember when I was in fifth grade I went to school with a girl whose brother's name was Barry. I'm not mentioning her name because I can't remember it. I want to say Judy, but who knows for sure. Anyway, I recall that both Barry and Judy where quite tall for the 6th grade. I remember Judy telling me a story about when she broke her wrist while playing with another friend. They were outside horsing around the swingset (you know those really old fashioned ones that if you didn't cement them down, when you started swinging the two front legs lifted off the ground. Judy some how broke her wrist. She and her friend went cryi...

I've decided that my brother and sister are totally millitant. It's one thing to voice your opinion, and I'm all for voicing one's opinion, but lambasting is really uncalled for. Personally, I don't respond to pushy sales people, and millitants are nothing more than pushy used car salesmen. There is and are much better ways of getting one's point across. I, for example, prefer to make it seem like whoever the agressor is, that my opinion is THEIR idea. Most of the time they never expect and if they do, go away satisfied. Whether this changes their opinion, I have no idea, nor do I really care. My point is there is a much kinder way of getting your point across.

Howdy folks, it's been awhile. Probably because I've been spending more time working on a new novel. I got my first one published. Wooo hooo ! Actually it's been a bitch. The publisher is not traditional so I have to spend most of my time promoting the book, and I'm not a salesperson. I'm going with another publisher for this next book and the next one and the next one. I really do like writing. So, what is the point of this blog today? Moronic drivers. There's plenty all over the place - all races and ages. My biggest complaint - people with poor depth perception. It's an epidemic!!! These people must have tremendous trust in their car's brakes, and the driver in front of them. I especially like the tailgaters that do so, hoping to intimidate the driver in front of them to speed up. This probably wouldn't be a problem except there are ten other cars in front of them. Do these idiots think by riding someones bumper that all the driv...

There once was a time that I wanted to have children and always wondered what kind of mom I would be. I think a good one, but I'll never know. I always joke that my brother had all girls, my sister had all boys and I had all dogs. Given the fact that I spoil my dogs and pretty much let them get away with everything if I did have a kid, he or she would probably be horrible. Yesterday my husband and I went to The Cracker Barrel for an early dinner. Those of you who don't know, this restaurant specializes in country home type food and the atmosphere is casual. The food is by no means gourmet, but it's tasty and inexpensive which means people bring their children. I have no problem with children dining with their parents unless they allow their children to run amok, scream or cry. So as we were waiting for the hostess to seat us I could hear the screeches of a tot. "Please God, don't let her seat us next to the screecher." Had the hostess done so I would...

To know me now, people would never guess that at any point in my life I was shy. I was in fact, very shy until I met my friend Helen. She used to always say, and probably still does, "fuck em if they can't take a joke." I totally agree. Nothing's worse than a person who either doesn't get it or spends most of their waking hours looking as if they stepped in dog shit. I'm not saying that you should walk around being so bubbly and happy you give people cavities, but Jeeezus lighten up. But back to my reason for this blog. During a visit to my cousins' house and while horsing around in the front yard with some of their friends (all males), somehow I managed to show my underwear (I think I fell and one of the boys pulled down my shorts) and wouldn't you know it I had a hole. Well, from then on I was known as Holey Underwear. Obviously that wasn't anything that was bringing me out of my shell. To add insult to injury my second nickname with these same ...