Swing'n On A Star and All That Jazz

I have lived in the state of Arizona for a little more than ten years now, and today, after reading an article in the newspaper I learned that it is illegal to hold potlucks unless in the workplace.  WTF?  What stupid head (a great name for today's politicians) thought up this moronic law, and what bigger stupid head enacted it?  So, I'm guessing that there are a lot of former law abiding citizens that have committed this crime by bringing food to a neighborhood block potluck party or even a church potluck.  OMG!  Quick, call the cops, pastor Buckminster's seventy-five year old wife has brought a bowl the size of Chicago of Waldorf salad to the table.  Further in the article it mentioned something about the health board.  So I'm guessing that this law was passed to stop the rampant outbreak of people making potluck dishes for the purpose of poisoning others.  My God!  When will this insanity stop?!  This also got me to thinking why aren'...

I don't mean to be politically incorrect, but the 'retarded' label is the only title I can think of.  Since I've been retired (about 2 years now), I spend, more than I should, time watching TV, mostly crime type shows.  I'm flabbergasted at the stupidity of some people.  Take for example, the forty-something woman, thrice married who is seeking husband number four, or at the very least a romantic relationship of some sort.  She visits a chat room for 'the lonely heart' and eventually finds a career soldier who is within two days of chatting with her smitten.  He's everything she wants in a mate, kind, attentive, a sole mate in every way.  Other than exchanging photos via this chat room, and by the way, he 'is a catch,' they have never met nor spoken in person.  Red flag.  Within two weeks he has proposed marriage. Red flag.  To my and her friends astonishment she says, "yes."  Now comes the problem.  Her new fiance' must get a '...

Perhaps it's just me, or maybe my age, but I feel no need to constantly keep in contact with people.  So it still surprises me how infatuated and addicted most people are these days with electronic gadgets that he or she can communicate "whatever" instantly.  I can wait to hear that Uncle Joe farted as he walked down the stairs causing the woman behind him to tumble three steps spraining her ankle in the process and ending up with her hot pink thonged ass up in the air for all the office to see.  I suppose because technology has given us the ability to do so, but it makes me wonder how people would and could last if this type of technology was taken away.  While I'm not in the TV business, but I think a reality TV show could be in order here.  Take 12 people, ranging in age from 20 o 45 and ambush them.  Relieve them of all electronic gadgets and make them go about their lives for 60 days without said gadgets.  The rules are simple.  Anyone caught...

I've been thinking about my own mortality lately, mostly because I've had all these medical conditions.  Anyone who knows me well, knows I'm afraid of dying even though it is inevitiable that I will someday.  But I got to thinking about those people who are critically ill or have recently met with unfortune that put them near death.  Some people manage to pull through and family or friend will say, "they have a tremendous will to live."  So what is your will?  What makes a person want to live?  Let's face it, the majority of people on earth are just 'average Joes,' not necessarily contributing anything to society as a whole, but contributing nonetheless.  So, I got to thinking, what is my will?  What would make me hang around?  I've never had or wanted for a lot of friends, so it couldn't be that.  I've been married for 27 years, but would missing my husband be 'the will?'  Perhaps it's my love of family or my beloved dogs?...

There are parts of my body I like, maybe not as much as when I was younger, but for example, my eyes. However, if there were a contest for the world's ugliest toes, I believe I'd have a very good chance of winning, or at the very least place somewhere in the top ten. People who've never seen them comment, "oh, they can't be that bad," but one of the few times in my life I showed the person, there was dead silence. I am blessed with a couple of hammer toes, bunions and corns, and a gap between my 'ring' toe and middle toe that somewhat looks like a chimps foot. Believe me when I tell you, not even nail polish does any good. I'll bet you're still thinking, "come on now, they can't be that bad." They are. Maybe I should give Guinness a call.

The driver drove East of Eden and West of the Mississippi - North to Alaska and South of the border. Round and Round in a semi-circle of confusion, spinning the wheels of his teal colored Cadillac: or is it mint green? Light tourquoise? Colors can be so visual, especially if one is color blind . As a reader, imagine in your mind what color you want the Cadillac to be. Exciting, isn't it? Still spinning in a continous spin, the driver's mind moves left and then right. To the left he's a man. To the right he's a woman, and I realize as I write this the driver might just be a transgender or a drag queen. I chose drag queen. Drag queens are so much more fun and I'm guessing gay, but that's neither here nor there. I don't give a flying fu_ _ . Speaking of which, what exactly is a flying fu_ _? I consider myself well-versed and uninhibited in the art of having sex but never have I flown while doing so. Does flying fu_ _ have something to do with the 'mile high...

Watching a show about Cleopatra. Didn't realize that she killed her siblings to gain power. I can't imagine killing either my brother or sister to gain anything, but then again there has never been any inter-blood marriages in my family as far as I know. While I like my brother, sisters and cousins, I can't imagine doing the horizontal mambo with any of them to preserve the bloods. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww gross!!!