Baxter's Unusual Talent

First of all let me start off by saying, "there ARE dumb questions." It's a matter of who's asking. My friend Jackie told me to start my own blog. She says it's because she knows I write and would have good stories to tell. Personally I think it's because I'm full of shit. People who are full of shit are good at playing the game, Balderdash. Anyway, a little bit a bout me. I'm married and live in Arizona with my husband and 3 dogs; 2 Wiener dogs and a Chihuahua mix. Before we got the Chihuahua we had 3 wiener dogs, so I used to tell everyone I live with 4 wieners. My husband's name is Frank. How ironic or phallic is that? All my dogs are male. Now that we have the Chihuahua I tell everyone I live with 3 wieners and a chili pepper. Chili peppers in a way remind me of doggy dicks so in a sense I still live with 4 wieners. Those who know me, know that I'm nuts about my dogs. Yes. I am a nutty dog lady. And I can safely state that I have the only dog in America who masturbates. Leave it to a Dachshund to invent this. I know you're thinking to yourself, how does a dog do that? Well, I can tell you from watching that they don't wrap their paws around their dicks and start whacking away. The name of my wiener whacking dog is Baxter. One day while sitting on the couch I happened to catch a glimpse of the little guy. His head was curled toward his back legs and he was bouncing while traveling in a circle. I thought, "what the hell is he doing?" He continued this 'little dance' for two or three minutes until finally standing on all fours, sporting an enormous boner. Damned little dog is HUNG. I'm not certain Baxter enjoyed the results of his little dance because the look on his face was a combination of pain and confusion as if to say, "Ouch! And what do I do now?" He took a few painful steps with his 'boner' dragging the carpet (easy to do if you're a Dachshund), then sat down and proceeded to lick IT until it was safely tucked back in its shield. Needless to say I cracked up, but thought it was a fluke. Not so. Baxter has continuously 'whacked is weenie' for the nearly 13 years we've had him. I can only imagine what gives him the urge to do this. He's been fixed since we sprung him from the pound, and he doesn't have any doggy porn CDs or PlayDog magazines hanging around. Perhaps it's because I used to be a horndog myself and it's rubbed off on him. I only wish that he could perform on command when someone visits because most people think I'm nuts, but I tell you it is the absolute truth. Anyway, I'm not certain how exciting, interesting my blogs will be, but I do hope you visit again to see what's on my mind.