Criminals in the Making

There once was a time that I wanted to have children and always wondered what kind of mom I would be. I think a good one, but I'll never know. I always joke that my brother had all girls, my sister had all boys and I had all dogs. Given the fact that I spoil my dogs and pretty much let them get away with everything if I did have a kid, he or she would probably be horrible. Yesterday my husband and I went to The Cracker Barrel for an early dinner. Those of you who don't know, this restaurant specializes in country home type food and the atmosphere is casual. The food is by no means gourmet, but it's tasty and inexpensive which means people bring their children. I have no problem with children dining with their parents unless they allow their children to run amok, scream or cry. So as we were waiting for the hostess to seat us I could hear the screeches of a tot. "Please God, don't let her seat us next to the screecher." Had the hostess done so I would have asked for another table. Still we were seated nearby. I chose to sit with my back to them, thinking that would help. Needless to say, the child continued screeching. In her defense, she was just an exuberant baby. There were at least four other kids with I'm guessing the mom. None of the kids were older than three or four years old. The dad probably left not wanting to deal with these brats. Not only did the baby screech, the others yelled, fought and were just plain noisy. To add to the noise one of them started using a utensil and a plate as a drum. The mother kept shusing the children and was nearly as loud in her shusing. Why in God's name would anyone even attempt to take this unruly brood out to eat? How could ANYONE possibly enjoy the meal? My husband commented, "Holy shit! You should see the mess those kids are making." Once the family left I turned and looked at the table. The restaurant manager should have cordoned the table off in yellow police tape, because it WAS a crime scene. The table was littered with a Matterhorn of napkins, along with food on the tabletop instead of plates. In other words, it was a mess, and the floor was worse; corn nuggets, macaroni, pieces of biscuits and coke. The restaurant staff was still cleaning the area when we left 30 minutes later. As it turned out the screeching infant was the neatest of the bunch. I heard the mother tell the children they could each buy 2 candies each. They get rewarded? If she was rewarding them for 'being good,' God help us all if they're ever bad.

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