Holey Underwear

To know me now, people would never guess that at any point in my life I was shy. I was in fact, very shy until I met my friend Helen. She used to always say, and probably still does, "fuck em if they can't take a joke." I totally agree. Nothing's worse than a person who either doesn't get it or spends most of their waking hours looking as if they stepped in dog shit. I'm not saying that you should walk around being so bubbly and happy you give people cavities, but Jeeezus lighten up. But back to my reason for this blog. During a visit to my cousins' house and while horsing around in the front yard with some of their friends (all males), somehow I managed to show my underwear (I think I fell and one of the boys pulled down my shorts) and wouldn't you know it I had a hole. Well, from then on I was known as Holey Underwear. Obviously that wasn't anything that was bringing me out of my shell. To add insult to injury my second nickname with these same cousins and friends was Cherry Tits. I was a very late bloomer. Bloomers, now there's a funny nickname for underwear. Anyway, underwear, bloomers panties have always been a annoying. Even now at 57 I still have trouble with the motherf_ _ _ers. I would've gone 'commando' long ago were it not for the dreaded 'cameltoe.' Lately I've been really having a problem with my undies. For one thing, I'm still wearing the same granny panties I wore when I weighed 276 lbs. Needless to say after an over 100 lbs weight lose it kind of makes them a bit on the baggy side. I actually fold the waistbands over. You're probably saying to yourself, "why didn't I buy some new ones?" Well I did but such a long time ago that besides being too big the elastic is really starting to wear out. At night I have to re-arrange my panties because they are twisted so badly and stuck in both cracks that it actually wakes me up. Some women may think that's kind of kinky but I'd rather be stimulated by the pool boy, if I wanted some. Anyway, you'll be happy to know that I bought some new granny panties yesterday. Knowing me though, I'll wear these new ones until they fall to my knees. But at least none of them have holes in em.

Comments

JCK said…
You need to do with underwear, what you do with socks!! Buy TONS of em and you'll have way more than enough that you won't have to worry about the elastic wearing out and your undies are hangin' on your knees!!! Girl.. you also need to lose the granny panties.. you are now a slender lady... you can wear pretty undies and try different styles.. you may just find a style you like..LOL!! Might actually be arousing.. no I mean fun, for you!!! LOL
February 22, 2009 at 10:10 AM
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